Psalm of Befuddlement

though I sit and weep at my kitchen table

the future is full of variables

taking the breakfast burrito in mouthfuls

staying awake to 2 am is typically a mistake

trying to regroup my head and go back to work

I have no voice for this burden

truncated prayers rushing forth to stall every second

signifiers fail but You do not

asking for the rationality I cannot get back

synapses fail but You do not

wishing I had put this battle behind me long ago

draw the hoodie over your head and mourn

thankful between shudders and gasps

lament before Him for He is good

I still have a heart tender enough to sting and swell

His mercy is new every millisecond

no matter how moronic I feel about it

His presence is real and changes not

I remember the tears I shed on Baptism Sunday

give me what I have not the wisdom to ask for

Over testimonies and waters not my own

give me Yourself and help me to rest

how the variables slip past us

pinging off each other like pinballs

moving too fast for the eyes

that strain to follow and then flood

my machine is tilted today

play through to the high score, LORD

and I will be comforted.

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